i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole
my mom texted me a facebook screenshot of this today and said ‘sounds like something you would say LOL’ like u have no idea mom
I was doing research on Napoleon when I found it again
My favorite picture of him
"Try to beat me THIS time, Russia!!!"
When I meet a friend’s friend and they leave us alone together
I don’t get these posts that go like “part of me wants to be a hot girl at the bar and the other part of me wants to read and sip tea in a bookstore”
like you can wear red lipstick and a leather jacket and sip tea and dance in the rain and go to the gym and curl up in bed and get turnt the fuck up and go to church
you can literally have it all sis
the world is yours
if someone tells you your clothing style is gay, respond with:
"yeah, it came out of the closet this morning."
writing papers for elementary foreign language classes makes me feel so dumb because in english i’m fairly articulate but i literally just wrote in german: “I have a door. the door is big. the door is brown. i have a room.” i’m handing this in for a grade.
- Write a book
- Create awesome characters
- Kill them